A little background first. A few weeks ago, we had our lawn aerated. It's done with a rototiller-like machine that basically pokes big holes all over the lawn to allow it to get more oxygen blah blah blah. The problem (for me, anyway) is that it leaves behind all these ugly little poo logs. It's not really poo, of course, but it looks like it. It reminds me a little too much of nutria. Ughhhhasdjjl;dlfkja;lskdfj;alskdjfa;sldkfja;ldkj.
This is what they look like up close
So, anyway, the other day we had another nice SUNNY spring-like day. The kids came home from school and were playing around outside. I had this hare-brained idea to have them pick up all the little poo logs. They weren't as excited about the idea as I was. So I came up with an even better hare-brained idea. I told them I would pay them 1 cent for each poo log they picked up. They still didn't jump. Until one of them started thinking. Hmmm. How many poo logs could I pick up in one minute? Oh, probably about 60. Let's see...that's $0.60/minute. That's $36/hour, give or take some for the "exhaustion factor." All of a sudden, it seemed like a GREAT idea to them and a really STUPID idea to me. But the bribe had already been spoken. And as anyone knows, once it's been spoken, there's no taking it back. It's like chaft in the wind. Or something like that. Never mind. It was some poem I heard about gossip once.
Reed managed to make $10 before his back started killing him
Montana hung in there for $5.86
JJ, who recently celebrated a birthday (read: just raked in a bunch of cash) wasn't feeling quite as motivated as the others. She got $2.43 and then talked Little Guy into pushing her around in his little plastic car.
Although I was out $18.29 when all was said and done, I was quite pleased with the results. The lawn was walkable and playable again. I thought Hank would be so surprised when he came home. Oh, he was surprised all right. The kids ran to him as he walked in the door and told him how much money they had just made in such a short amount of time. He was like, you did what? He came to find me, only to inform me that those little poop things were supposed to stay on the lawn. He said it was all part of the process, blah blah blah. He then reminded me (very nicely) that I was in charge of the flowers and he was in charge of the grass. Oops. I guess I had forgotten that part.
So, anyway, the other day we had another nice SUNNY spring-like day. The kids came home from school and were playing around outside. I had this hare-brained idea to have them pick up all the little poo logs. They weren't as excited about the idea as I was. So I came up with an even better hare-brained idea. I told them I would pay them 1 cent for each poo log they picked up. They still didn't jump. Until one of them started thinking. Hmmm. How many poo logs could I pick up in one minute? Oh, probably about 60. Let's see...that's $0.60/minute. That's $36/hour, give or take some for the "exhaustion factor." All of a sudden, it seemed like a GREAT idea to them and a really STUPID idea to me. But the bribe had already been spoken. And as anyone knows, once it's been spoken, there's no taking it back. It's like chaft in the wind. Or something like that. Never mind. It was some poem I heard about gossip once.
Reed managed to make $10 before his back started killing him
Montana hung in there for $5.86
JJ, who recently celebrated a birthday (read: just raked in a bunch of cash) wasn't feeling quite as motivated as the others. She got $2.43 and then talked Little Guy into pushing her around in his little plastic car.
Although I was out $18.29 when all was said and done, I was quite pleased with the results. The lawn was walkable and playable again. I thought Hank would be so surprised when he came home. Oh, he was surprised all right. The kids ran to him as he walked in the door and told him how much money they had just made in such a short amount of time. He was like, you did what? He came to find me, only to inform me that those little poop things were supposed to stay on the lawn. He said it was all part of the process, blah blah blah. He then reminded me (very nicely) that I was in charge of the flowers and he was in charge of the grass. Oops. I guess I had forgotten that part. 
Yeah we have the same day. Me=Flowers, Greg=Grass Too funny...who knew you were supposed to leave those there! The lawn doesn't speak to me so I wouldn't know that. The laundry and the dishes speak to me.
ReplyDeleteThe way you two interact reminds me so much of my husband and myself. Funny!! I would've wanted those poo logs gone, too.
ReplyDeleteMy husband used to pay the kids (and the neighbor kids) to pick up the pine cones in our back yard so he could mow. Cheap labor. Isn't that what kids are for???
This CRACKED me up! You just kinda think a penny a piece won't go so far! Who did the counting? That's like 1000 poo logs for Reed!
ReplyDeleteDid you end up throwing them all back?
I think it was a great idea...those things always look so ghetto.
This was hilarious! After my gag reflex settled down because they really do look like poo! I don't know why it hit my funny bone so because I just can't stop cracking up! I think the best was....well really everything! The fact that you'd pay your kids to pick up the stuff cuz it looks like poo, the fact that they did it!, and probably what cracked me up the most was your conversation with your hubby...I could just hear it in my head! Oh man you guys are funny! Thanks for the good laugh!
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't blame you. I would have wanted those things up as well. Bribery...a mothers secret weapon.
ReplyDeleteI loved it! We have about a jillon fruit trees in our yard and we pay our kids (only my #2 child jumps at this) a penny a fruit to keep the lawn clear.
ReplyDeleteIt is worth EVERY PENNY.
Funny funny story!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog!